SPOTLIGHT: Coming Out of Texas

Gregory G. Allen finds his stride with his debut novel, Well with My Soul.

Until recently, Gregory G. Allen’s claim to fame may have only been that he toured the country as a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle in the mid ’90s. But the out author, whose debut novel, Well with My Soul, is not coincidentally slated for release on October 11—National Coming Out Day—has found success offstage. He grew up in Texas, a difficult place to come out, and moved to New York in 1987 to become an actor, where he discovered an entirely new world of out possibilities. That newfound acceptance still informs his writing, but Allen says, even as an adult the petty world of high school—and the homophobic damnation that comes with it—haunts him. We talked with him about his new book, old memories and how things have changed for the better.

How long have you been out?
I came out to my family when I was 19. Right after my grandmother passed away. Not a good time to tell your mom, but it just sort of happened that way.

What was the most difficult part of coming out for you?
My concern over how my Texas friends and family would react. Building a network of people in New York made me feel as if I [were] living in a bubble in the late ’80s. But going back to Texas for holidays made it all so very clear how different parts of the country were not as accepting as the “big city.” There is a reason so many gay people flock to large cities the moment they come out.

How do you think the ’80s affected people’s ability to be comfortable in their own skin?
The ’80s were a very conservative time in our country’s history—coming off of the wild times of the ’70s. I think it caused many people to head right back into the closet. I remember when I heard about Rock Hudson in the ’80s and could not believe that huge strapping movie star could possibly be gay. Naturally there were still pockets of people in large cities continuing the wildness the previous decade had given, but the country as a whole was not buying it. That was part of the reason I wanted to set my book in that period.

Were you able to come out comfortably despite the culture shift that took place during the Regan era?
My coming out was easier because I had already spent a year living in New York, though I had told a few friends in high school before I left Texas. With each person I told, it got easier. Though I will admit at first, I thought I was supposed “to change.” So silly to think of that now after being with my partner for 11 years and a civil union in New Jersey with him the past three of those. But at the time society was telling me that I was wasn’t right, so [I thought] I needed to change. Thank God I wised up and was able to live a very fulfilling life as a gay man.

How long has this book been in the works?
I started this book as a play and had a reading back in 2007. The moment I heard it read, I knew it needed to be a book so that I could really follow 15 years in the lives of these brothers and show how time (and society around you) can change how a person reacts to situations. It took several rewrites and back and forth with the editor to get it to the place it is now.

If you had 10 words left to share with the world, what would they be?
I hope I made a difference through stories I’ve written.

Anything else we need to know?
About coming out. As a 42-year-old man I feel like I’ve been out now most of my life—but I want to share a story about social media. At first it was so exciting to find people from my past from high school online and chat it up with them. But I noticed a very strange thing happening. I felt as if I [were] back in high school being judged for my life (especially by one individual who watched the wedding video of my husband and I and then proceeded to preach to me online in front of everyone that could read his words about how wrong my life was). It was that punch in the gut of being a kid feeling you were worthless. Needless to say the adult Gregory handled it differently. I hit the “un-friend” button and moved on!

Well with My Soul book-release party at Stonewall Inn, 53 Christopher St (btwn Seventh Ave/Waverly Pl), thestonewallinnnyc.com. Oct 13, 6pm; free.