7 Things We Would Like To See Happen During Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl Halftime Show
Clinton, Ru, Stones, and gays.
September 30, 2016
Lady Gaga announced on her Instagram last night that she would be performing the Super Bowl Halftime Show on February 5 in Houston, Texas next year.
Here are the seven things we would like to see happen:
1. A duet with Madonna.
Halftime performers always bring out other stars, so how amazing would it be if Mother Monster and Mother Madge got together and banged one out? Maybe Madonna joining Gaga is simply a perfect illusion. More likely cameos are Florence Welch, Mark Ronson, and Elton John. Even Beyoncé is more likely to come out for a cell phone medley for her hometown audience in Houston, Texas.
2. An acoustic version of “Born This Way”.
I love it when Gaga gets behind the keys of a piano and displays the true intensity of her vocals with an acoustic rendition of one her hits. Hopefully, she picks “Born This Way” – with a country road take on things for that Southern hospitality vibe that abounds in Texas.
3. A mosh pit during “Perfect Illusion”.
The video makes “Burning Man” look tame – so let’s hope she jumps in feet first and does some crowd surfing. We would also love a microphone swing for good measure.
4. Costume malfunctions galore.
Hopefully, Gaga will be wearing something so ridiculous it is bound to fall apart at the seams and expose some nip or clit. Making the audience whisper, “Janet who?”
5. A cameo by our new president Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Girl power! How amazing would it be if President Clinton ditched the pantsuit for booty shorts and a rocker tee and came out to get up in that gig during “Bad Romance”? This may be farfetched – but a Hillary Gay can dream you know. Paws up Clinton!
6. A Rolling Stones cover.
She will do a cover, and you know it will be some classic rock band. We have already heard her do The Beatles – so I don’t what would be more perfect for her current aesthetic or the Superbowl audience than some Mick! Maybe “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” or “Sympathy For The Devil”?
7. Rainbows, unicorns, and gays everywhere.
Gaga is one of our community’s divas, and while professional sports or the NFL doesn’t usually scream LGBT inclusiveness – let’s hope Gaga gays it up with pomp and circumcisions. Especially after last year’s Houston Equal Rights Ordinance was struck down. We aren’t nesscerially asking for naked go-go boys fresh off their shift at The Cock – but would Alyssa Edwards riding a flying, giant unicorn shitting out Skittles and glitter be impossible? Am I reaching for the stars here? On that note – what if Gaga brought out Ru!
Only time will tell. Let the countdown begin for Lady Gaga’s Concert – we mean Super Bowl LI.
