The Art of the Read

(Mocha Lite)

Now, you want to talk about reading? Let’s talk about reading.

“Well at first I thought Next Magazine was doing its first issue devoted to literacy, but I misinterpreted what you meant by ‘read,’” said Gusty Winds when I asked her if she could answer a few questions about reading. “Guess this means the majority of your readership will still think it’s a glossy picture book filled with naked men and drag queens,” she quipped. “That, Alex, is what I would call a perfect read.” Touché, Gusty, touché.

Bring up the topic of reading and most gays will immediately quote the iconic scene from Paris is Burning in which Dorian Corey explains that “shade comes from reading; reading came first. Reading is the real art form of insult.” But what does that mean exactly?

“To me, ‘reading’ is about the art of insulting,” says Misty Meaner. “Being able to insult someone using various references without directly saying their obvious insecurity.” Corey continues in Burning: “If you get in a smart crack and everyone laughs and kikis because you found a flaw and exaggerated it, then you’ve got a good read going.”

Of course, different queens use different methods for delivering their shade. “A good read should have a full story arc. It starts in one place, grows, builds, explodes and comes back to your original point with a perfect punch line,” opines Vodka Stinger. Tina Burner says that originality is the most important aspect of a good read. “Stealing everybody’s material is so last season,” she moans. Hedda Lettuce takes a less-is-more approach, and says that “wit and attitude” are what make for a top-notch dig. “I think reading should be funny,” says Sherry Vine. “Being mean is boring and easy.” Lady Bunny notes that you have to be smart to be amusing. “The smarter we are, the funnier and the more sophisticated our humor can be,” she says. Bunny isn’t afraid to shy away from a little snark either—and she says a read doesn’t even always have to be verbal. “Dressing up as Sarah Jessica Parker for Halloween with designer shoes and dress with a horse head and blonde wig on top [is a good read]. Mean, but hilarious!” Shequida is just all about vanity: A good read is “anything that makes me look better than Sherry Vine!”

In an art form rooted in insult-comedy, some feel there are unspoken rules about what sorts of reads cross into offensive territory. “For me, [it’s] racial slurs,” says Logan Hardcore, who’s known for her caustic performances with Dallas Dubois on the pool deck in the Grove. “Reading in performance should be to entertain, and when you cross a line and humiliate people that’s not very fun for anyone,” says Sylvia London. “Read me all you want—just be quick and well spoken,” says Tina Burner. “It’s not amusing to hit someone below the belt.”

Some of the best reads are subtle. “Epiphany introduced me recently with, ‘On loan from the Museum of National History,’” says Sherry Vine. “I fell on the floor from that one.” “Lady Bunny’s sugary-sweet reads are always effective and hilarious,” says London. “The best is when two frenemies go after each other, each read-topping the next!”

Who’s the queen of the gay library in New York? In the drag queen community, there seems to be a consensus. “By far Bianca Del Rio,” Tina Burner states unequivocally. “She breathes reading. The best part of it is she is the queen who will buy you a drink after. It’s all in good fun.” Lady Bunny agrees. “[She] has a razor-sharp wit and gets quite edgy. I think she’s amazing!”

Regardless of whose reads cut the deepest, or which style each queen uses to hack away at her victim’s pride, one thing is for certain: “Reading is fundamental!”