Brought to a Boil

Some gay-friendly pasta

There’s something about self-destruction that makes us want to watch. You know the kind: Titanic, Lindsay Lohan and, most recently, Barilla Pasta.

When Barilla CEO Guido Barilla announced that his company would never make commercials featuring same-sex couples and “if gays don’t like that, they will eat someone else’s pasta,” guess what? We did—and we were followed by a legion of allies.

The media had a field day and other pasta companies positively flipped: not only did Barilla alienate a fan base (check out Instagram for all the people throwing out their pasta), the man gave his competition an easy way to gain a leg up. Taking to the Internet with Facebook memes, Buitoni proclaimed “Pasta for all!” with some cunning gay-friendly tortellini imagery; Garofalo proclaimed, “We don’t care how you do it, so long as you do it al dente!” Long-time gay-ally Bertolli mixed and matched its pastas into couples of all sorts. “We just wanted to spread the news that Bertolli welcomes everyone, especially those with an empty stomach,” a company rep told AdWeek Magazine.

In the hours that followed Barilla’s misguided statement, San Remo, Kraft, Pappardelle’s, Brooklyn-based Sfoglini, and—noodles not being solely an Italian invention—even Asian producers like Wanchai Ferry Wontons publicly hopped on the pro-gay bandwagon. To really put the nail in Guido’s coffin, the Human Rights Campaign quickly posted a list of pasta makers and brands, including Market Pantry, Chef Boyardee, DeBoles and Rosetto that score 90 or above on the HRC Corporate Equality Index.

“The CEI is a transparent, objective assessment of LGBT policies and practices among the largest businesses in the US,” Liz Cooper, HRC Manager of Corporate Programs, Workplace Project, says. “Any brands from these highly-rated companies could qualify as LGBT-friendly based on our criteria and by purchasing from them as opposed to brands like Barilla, consumers can support those companies that support equality.”

Alessandro Zan, a gay member of the Italian Parliament, tweeted, “You can’t mess around with consumers, including gay ones.”

Aurelio Mancuso, head of Italian gay rights group Equality Italia, added, “We accept the invitation from the Barilla owner to not eat his pasta.”

And Guido? Amazingly, as he contends with proliferating boycotts and his American subsidiary puts out fires, every time he opens his mouth, it just gets better. He tried to clarify, and “highlight the central role of the woman in the family,” a statement critics took to mean that women’s “central role” was in the kitchen cooking up pasta. He just recently issued a carefully worded apology on all counts. Looks like he’s eating his words. Too bad no one’s eating his pasta.