Chris Tyler

“September 9, 1999: I diligently craft a book report on forest fires or something at the local library, because my family’s PC is broken. Most of my research involves looking at pictures of 98 Degrees on the Internet. 9pm: The library closes. I rush home, turn on MTV, and catch a quick exterior shot of the Metropolitan Opera House. There are fountains, Kurt Loder. Suddenly, a classroom. Silver lamé. So much silver lamé. I wonder, ‘How do I enroll in this school?’ But, wait. Where is she? Where’s Britney? A prerecorded audio track echoes my concerns. Finally, she appears. The entrance is simple. Minimalism in cross trainers, if you will. But the artist? She is present. She is living. And, in that moment, I realize: I’m a pop star, too. I spend the following spring learning the choreography to ‘Oops!… I Did It Again’ only to perform it repeatedly at tri-state area Bat Mitzvahs that summer. Surely someone, anyone, will notice: ‘I’m not that innocent.’”