Day Drinking 101
A Field guide to Summer drinking before Cocktail hour.
July 03, 2014
The Fourth of July is all about BBQs, beach parties, and other boozy all-day activities. But there’s an art to day drinking, and if you do it wrong you’ll end up just like that messy girl puking on the LIRR. If you do it right, it’s all drunken fun in the sun! Here’s everything you need to know for a day of inebriation.
Tips for Successful Day Drinking: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
ARIANNA HUFFENSTUFF, DRINKING DRAG QUEEN
“Start slow. Plan for a meal. Never play catch up. And end early.”
LUCAS CAREY, PERFORMER
“Start slamming ’em down early. Avoid food as it takes up valuable alcohol space. Get the liquor in a brown bag or they will arrest you. Avoid friends as they take up valuable drinking time. The nap will plan itself.”
“Start slamming ’em down early. Avoid food as it takes up valuable alcohol space. Get the liquor in a brown bag or they will arrest you. Avoid friends as they take up valuable drinking time. The nap will plan itself.”
DYLAN O’KEEFE, BARTENDER
“Plan a lot of gallivanting around the city. Having to pause your drinking to take the subway for 30–40 minutes can help make sure you don’t drink too much too fast.”
“Plan a lot of gallivanting around the city. Having to pause your drinking to take the subway for 30–40 minutes can help make sure you don’t drink too much too fast.”
A Boozy Timeline:
NOON
Sober—for now.
1:00PM
Slightly buzzed after a Bloody Mary.
2:00PM
Legitimately drunk after switching Bloody Marys for mimosas.
3:00PM
“This beer tastes like water!”
4:00PM
Sobbing at the ATM because you can’t
figure out how it works and all you really want is a burrito.
5:00PM
A $20 cab ride home? Sure.
6:00PM
It’s not even dark and you have the
beginnings of a hangover.
7:00PM
Naptime.
8:00PM
Time to start again!
Day Drinking Kit:
A BOTTLE OF WATER:
Reusable, please. It’s good to be hydrated and green.
A SNACK:
Preferably something carb-based: pretzels, crackers, half a bagel. Anything to soak up the booze and keep you from puking.
SUNGLASSES:
They will make it harder for people to tell how wasted you are and give you an air of mystery. Also, summer sunlight hurts when you’re drunk.
SUNBLOCK:
There’s nothing worse than getting too drunk to realize how much sun you’re getting and then spending the next day feeling like a boiled lobster.
PAINKILLERS:
When you’re hung over by sunset, Extra Strength Tylenol comes in handy.
Places to Get Sauced in the Sun
FIRE ISLAND: Invasion Pool Party
Pool Deck, Harbor Wk (Fire Island Blvd/Bay Wk), The Pines, pinesfi.com.
This Fire Island tradition will turn out a wild assortment of drag queens walking the runway, with host Candis Cayne and DJs Rico Alexis and Matty Glitterati. Noon–7pm; free.
Independence Day Celebration
Posh, 405 W 51st St (@ Ninth Ave), poshbarnyc.com.
Start early at this patriotic bash with $5 Boston Tea Party drinks and a happy hour from 3pm until 9pm. DJ JRoc spins starting at 9pm as part of WTF Fridays. 3pm–4am; free.
The Invasion
The Pines Harbor, Fire Island Blvd @ Harbor Wk, The Pines, fireislandinvasion.com.
This annual event starts at The Ice Palace as a cadre of drag queens board the ferry and make Fire Island incredibly fabulous—even more fabulous than it usually is. This act of visibility is as beautiful as it is powerful, and is part of a tradition that stretches back to 1976. Noon–1pm; free.
High Tea
High Tea Deck, 37 Fire Island Blvd (@ Harbor Wk), The Pines, pinesfi.com.
It’s all about tea in the Pines, and this one is the first of the day. Pause your day at the beach for a little liquid lunch with a side of beats courtesy of DJ Xavier. Noon; free.
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