A Very Private (Priestly) Party

The pink elephant in the Vatican is pretty hard to ignore. Between the ubiquitous images of a highly eroticized Jesus and the over-the-top pageantry of papal ceremony, the Catholic Church certainly isn’t going out of its way to avoid looking gay. But while the idea of priests doing it on the down-low may not surprise you, Michael Bullock’s new book just might.

In Roman Catholic Jacuzzi (Karma), the former US publisher for Butt magazine relays the true story of his experiences at “Stone Creek”—a gay retreat and campground far off the beaten path. In the fall of 2010, his visit to Stone Creek happened to coincide with one of its most unusual gatherings. Once a year, closeted gay priests gather in secret at Stone Creek for a week-long, no-holds-barred celebration: dancing, drinking and debauchery. For many, it’s their only chance to be openly gay, or have sex, all year.

“I thought it was an important story,” Bullock tells me over coffee, “and I couldn’t believe I had the fortune of experiencing it.” But Bullock, who was raised Roman Catholic, wasn’t so enthusiastic to begin with.

“How can they preach against what they are? And how do they deal with being professional lifetime hypocrites?” he wonders in Roman Catholic Jacuzzi. On the priests’ last night, after spending most of the week avoiding run-ins with the Catholic campers (as instructed), Bullock’s curiosity gets the better of him and he crashes their final blow-out bash, a not-quite-realized imitation of a late night on Fire Island.

“That party was priests trying to recreate what they know of gay culture,” he says, “not from experiencing it first hand, but from the Internet or watching gay TV shows. What was so hilarious was what they think it is”—what he refers to in the story as “every dated gay cliché merged into one sloppy mess.”

While the queer conclave is certainly entertaining, Bullock finds it equally upsetting. Though he engages a few of the partygoers in conversation about what it means to be a gay priest, he cannot, despite his best efforts, get over their hypocrisy. Ultimately, he gains a better understanding only after a strange sexual encounter with a priest in a hot tub. (Two words: “stigmata fetish.”)

At 55 large-type pages, Roman Catholic Jacuzzi is a quick, compelling read and a good deal shorter than most bound books—but the paperback’s old-school pulp feel is undoubtedly part of its appeal. Karma, primarily a fine-art publisher, has designed a fantastic cover based on a religious flyer from the ‘70s, and its sea-foam green color—complete with reflective blue lettering—and cheeky title are guaranteed to start some conversations on the subway. My copy hasn’t caught the eye of any hot priests yet, but Roman Catholic Jacuzzi has me hoping it’s only a matter of time.

Michael Bullock recommends: User by Bruce Benderson, Lesbian Nuns: Breaking Silence edited by Rosemary Curb & Nancy Manahan and The Agony and the Ecstasy by Irving Stone.