Visitor’s Guide
Where to take your out-of-town friends in gay New York.
July 23, 2014
(Rayanne Graff, the Manic Pixie Fruit Fly)
One of the most nerve-wracking things about living in New York is having friends come to visit. Figuring out where to put them in your tiny studio apartment is one thing, but figuring out how to entertain them is a whole other battle. Sure, going to the Met is nice, but there are only so many tourist activities you can do before you want to jump off the Empire State Building. And the best part of having an out-of-towner come to the city is showing them how actual New Yorkers live—and how we actually party! But your favorite gay bars may not work for every visitor who comes to crash on your couch this summer. Whatever sort of guest you’re escorting around the city this weekend, we know exactly where to take them
Manic Pixie Fruit Fly
You know the type: Rayanne from My So-Called Life
Take her to: The Spectrum, 59 Montrose Ave (btwn Lorimer/Leonard Sts), Williamsburg, [email protected].
In high school she was the one who smoked pot under the bleachers, made out with every boy at parties, dyed her hair pink, and wore fairy wings—just because! When this girl comes to visit, take her to The Spectrum. Not only will its Brooklyn location score you cool points, but this D.I.Y. queer community space has events that are perfect for her free spirit and platform shoes. There are always a few hot, weirdo straight guys hanging out for her to go home with, and plenty of queer women—this is definitely the kind of girl who likes to experiment!
Ex-Boyfriend
You know the type: Lance Bass
Take him to: Julius, 159 W 10th St (@ Waverly Pl), juliusbarnyc.com.
Well, we’re not exactly sure why you’d have your ex visit. Clearly the breakup was amicable and no one threw anyone’s Madame Alexander dolls out the window. When he comes to town and you go out for a drink, take him to Julius. This venerable West Village bar isn’t so cruise-heavy that you’ll have to suffer through seeing him flirt all night, but if you’re feeling particularly vindictive—and let’s be honest, you usually are—you can definitely find someone sexy to share a drink with and let your ex remember what he’s missing.
Well, we’re not exactly sure why you’d have your ex visit. Clearly the breakup was amicable and no one threw anyone’s Madame Alexander dolls out the window. When he comes to town and you go out for a drink, take him to Julius. This venerable West Village bar isn’t so cruise-heavy that you’ll have to suffer through seeing him flirt all night, but if you’re feeling particularly vindictive—and let’s be honest, you usually are—you can definitely find someone sexy to share a drink with and let your ex remember what he’s missing.
Type-A Manhunter
You know the type: Charlotte from Sex and the City
Take her to: Leslie-Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art, 26 Wooster St (btwn Canal/Grand Sts), leslielohman.org.
This is the girl who comes into town for a weekend visiting her sorotity sisters, calls you up beause “Gays are, like, so much fun!” and spends brunch getting steadily drunker on mimosas and eventually crying about how she needs to get engaged in the next year or she’ll jump off the High Line. As much as she thinks she’d love to dance all night and have the gays fawn all over her, New York ‘mos will be having none of that! So take her to a gallery show at Leslie-Lohman. There might even be some cultured Wall Street types there to distract her.
This is the girl who comes into town for a weekend visiting her sorotity sisters, calls you up beause “Gays are, like, so much fun!” and spends brunch getting steadily drunker on mimosas and eventually crying about how she needs to get engaged in the next year or she’ll jump off the High Line. As much as she thinks she’d love to dance all night and have the gays fawn all over her, New York ‘mos will be having none of that! So take her to a gallery show at Leslie-Lohman. There might even be some cultured Wall Street types there to distract her.
Straight College Roommate
You know the type: John Belushi in Animal House
Take him to: Gym Sportsbar, 167 Eighth Ave (btwn 18th/19th Sts), gymsportsbar.com.
This is the friend you wish wouldn’t visit, because when he does he trashes your apartment, has gross sex on your couch, borrows your expensive shoes because all he packed are flip-flops and proceeds to ruin them, never pays for drinks, and says “no homo”whenever he hugs you goodbye. You won’t have anything to talk about, so take him to Eighth Avenue’s gay sportsbar. He can watch the game—whatever that is—while you quaff cocktails and slyly try to cruise some trade for the night.
This is the friend you wish wouldn’t visit, because when he does he trashes your apartment, has gross sex on your couch, borrows your expensive shoes because all he packed are flip-flops and proceeds to ruin them, never pays for drinks, and says “no homo”whenever he hugs you goodbye. You won’t have anything to talk about, so take him to Eighth Avenue’s gay sportsbar. He can watch the game—whatever that is—while you quaff cocktails and slyly try to cruise some trade for the night.
Issue:
