Bad Sweaters, Good Drinks

The awkward holiday photo: we all have them. Pull out any slideshow, old family Christmas card or Facebook album and the memories will instantly begin to scream, “What were we thinking?!” But these kitschy little treasures, as embarrassing as they may be, are still filled with holiday cheer from days of yore. So for Next Magazine’s annual Winter Cocktail Issue, we decided to embrace the matching sweaters and distant gazes of the past and gathered the sexy young cast of Lysistrata Jones to create some new wild and wacky Kwanmacrhsitmas memories.

Chambord Royale 76

We get it: you’re in love. (Good for you!) But your ear-to-ear smiles, cute penguin kisses and constant hand holding sure do make for some funny photos. Just look at Lysistrata Jones lovebirds Patti Murin and Josh Segarra. You’d think those elegant Chambord Royale 76s were servings of wedding cake the way these two are exchanging giggly sips!

Chambord Royale 76

2 oz Chambord Flavored Vodka
½ oz lemon Juice
½ oz simple syrup
Korbel California Champagne
Bitters

Mix ingredients. Mix ingredients. Pour into a chilled coupe-style Champagne glass. Garnish with a twist of lemon. ChambordOnline.com

Veev Pom-Açai Punch

Nothing screams “Holidays!” with obnoxious overzealous joy like a bright red bowl of fruity punch. And the VeeV Pom-Açaí Punch, made with VeeV Açaí Spirit, is sure to fill an ordinary PC office party with high-energy cheer—especially when it involves Katie Boren, Kat Nejat and LaQuet Sharnell. The only person who loves the holidays more than they do is Santa Claus himself!

VeeV Pom-Açaí Punch

1 bottle of VeeV Açaí Spirit
8 oz spiced rum
24 oz Pom juice
8 oz simple syrup or agave nectar
10 dashes of Angostura Bitters
1 fresh lemon, sliced in wheels

Batch all ingredients together and stir well. Pour into shaker as desired and shake well with ice. Strain into an ice-filled glass and garnish with a lemon and cherry. VeevLife.com

Voli Nutti Expresso

Alexander Aguilar and Kat Nejat are over it. And they’re letting everyone know they can’t wait for these “season’s greetings” to go back to their box in the attic. Till then they’ll have to suck it up—or suck it down, as it were—with a Voli Nutti Espresso, stiff and strong enough to help any grouch survive December.

Voli Nutti Expresso

1½ oz Voli Espresso Vanilla
½ oz Frangelico

In a rocks glass, mix Voli Espresso Vanilla and Frangelico with ice. Strain into a glass. VoliSpirits.com

Stoli Choco Raz White Russian & 42 Below Manuka Hot Toddy

It’s easy to keep warm when you’re around Lysistrata Jones siren Liz Mikel; just look at the glowing faces of her cast mates Jason Tam and Ato Blankson-Wood. But Liz can’t do it all on her own. That’s why at this festive gathering she’s serving the soothing 42 Below Manuka Hot Toddy and the creamy Stoli Choco Raz White Russian. Next to laughter, vodka is the best way to keep spirits high when temperatures drop.

Stoli Choco Raz White Russian

2 parts Stoli Chocolat Razberi
1 part Bols Coffee Liqueur
1 part light cream or milk

Pour Stoli Chocolat Razberi and Bols Coffee Liqueur over ice cubes in a highball glass. Fill with cream or milk, stir and serve. Stoli.com

42Below Manuka Hot Toddy

1 part 42Below Manuka Honey
5 parts hot water
1 part fresh lemon juice
2 teaspoons of runny honey or Manuka honey
2 slices of ginger root, finely chopped
Fresh nutmeg

Fill a heatproof cup, mug or coffee glass with ginger, and muddle well with lemon juice. Add a little hot water, stir well and add honey and 42Below Honey. Top with hot water, stir well and garnish with a dusting of freshly grated nutmeg. 42Below.com

Svedka Drty_Txt

Alex Wyse and Teddy Toye are like two little elves—musical, adorable and always up to mischief. They enjoy the Svedka drty_txt because it’s just as sneaky as they are, ready to catch you off guard this holiday at any moment.

Svedka Drty_Txt

1 oz Svedka Vodka
1 oz orange juice
1/4 oz Cointreau
½ oz sweet vermouth
½ oz Campari
Angostura bitters

Mix all ingredients in a shaker filled with ice. Shake and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a burnt orange peel. Svedka.com

Absolut Outrageous

Bad sweaters are one thing, but angry birds? There is always one of them in the family, and at Lysistrata Jones it’s Lindsay Nicole Chambers, whose use of props—and lack of pants—reminds us how wild the holidays can really be. So why fight it? The fruity Absolut Outrageous is just as colorful as the most eccentric of aunts.

Absolut Outrageous

½ part Absolut Mandarin
½ part Absolut Citron
3 parts lemon-lime soda
Cranberry juice
Lime

Mix Absolut with lemon lime soda. Add a splash of cranberry juice and a squeeze of lime. Add a lime wedge and cherry for garnish. Absolut.com

CREDITS:

Models: The cast of Lysistrata Jones (Patti Murin, Liz Mikel, Josh Segarra, Jason Tam, Lindsay Nicole Chambers, Alexander Aguilar, Ato Blankson-Wood, Katie Boren, Kat Nejat, LaQuet Sharnell, Teddy Toye, Alex Wyse)

Shot on Location at: The Monster (80 Grove St), Manhattan-Monster.com.

Special Thanks: Seth, Charlie and the staff of The Monster Mark Seeley at Serino Coyne Frances White at The Hartman Group

Lysistrata Jones at the Walter Kerr Theater (219 W 48th St), LysistrataJones.com